I was getting to the end of my tether, and so were my work colleagues - not knowing how to deal with my unexpected bursts of tears, general mood of moroseness, and fears over well just so much. They were getting fed up? Heck. I was getting furious with myself again. Somehow I just KNEW it was my entire fault really, I was just being pathetic, I should yell at myself to get it all together, I should just try HARDER. In the end it was my manager who told me that since I'd tried legal drugs, the talking cure, and exercise she might have a new option. Well goodness, I was ready to try anything The setting was a quiet area, a family home, and a softly spoken Andrew Richardson. Yes I DID arrive near to sniveling but it all soon wore off. I even share a medical issue - if that is the correct phrase - with Andrew but we didn't spend much time on that as I was, and still am, sure that MS is the LEAST of my worries. By attending my sessions with Andrew I found out that he considered that I have been through a trauma. This was such a different way to look at that time as a twelve year old when I just hadn't been able to cope with the bad luck of being bullied and trying to commit suicide, in the middle of my mother dying from Alzheimer's disease. Okay. I now see how I might not have been unreasonable in feeling awful a lot of the time because behaviour now tripped me back into that bullied child. And this is what Andrew got me to work on, with his help. I was taught a way to view past memories and so got rid of the emotion of them. As part of the visualization I regained one of my past German Shepherdesses who I used to sit with my arm around, so if I seem to be poised awkwardly it's because my left arm is busy cuddling a pooch. I also found words coming out of my mouth that I hadn't planned on saying but seemed to make sense to Andrew. I filled in questionnaires that we reviewed in later weeks and he gave me proper charts to look at, (and keep), to help me see my progress. I also have a promise that if I feel it's all becoming too much again, all I have to do is telephone and he will be ready, willing and able to help - a bit like the cavalry of human givens. Yes it was worthwhile. Yes I use Andrew's visualization technique with stressful stuff that stresses me out at work. Yes, I feel happy that I have his back-up. And yes, I still have my ghostly bitch to cuddle when my live one is otherwise engaged.